Contagious
by chewbecky
Summary: Jiraiya is being questioned by the Godaime about why he attacked two shinobis of the leaf. Songfic, Rating is due to coarse langauge.


Chewbecky: I am the author, for all those who didn't know… (^^)

Kakashi: sexy lady, drive me crazy *wink*…drive me—

Chewbecky: shhhhhh!! *covers his mouth* Kaka-kun, not yet!

Chewbecky:  Okay, if any of you have read my other fic, you know this is gonna get really OOC. ('Da Joint Burga' is my other fic)  This is my first attempt at a song fic, so please be gentle with me.  Oh yeah, it seems like I'm bashing Anko, but I mean her NO harm!! I'm just trying to get some laughs, and it can't be helped b/c of the song.

Disclaimer:  Masashi Kishimoto…is…so…grrrreeeaaatttt!!!  He owns all of Naruto, not me...  (-.-)  Oh yeah! The song is called "Contagious" and is sung by Mr. Biggs and R.Kelly.

At Hokage's Office…

            ANBU soldiers have dragged in Jiraiya, Anko, and Kakashi at around 3 a.m. that morning. Jiraiya had lost it and was kicking their sorry arses. It is now 9 a.m., and Tsunade is trying to get the story of what happened out of a distraught Jiraiya.

Tsunade:  Its okay, Jiraiya.  You can tell me what happened.  Tell me what made you snap on Kakashi and Anko like that.

A/N: *poof* okay, this is where the song starts…

Jiraiya: *far away look in his already glassy eyes* Its 2 a.m., just gettin' in about to check my message.  No one has called, but my homies and some bill collectors.  My cellular rings, somebody wants to borrow money.  I two way Anko, she don't hit me back, something is funny. *drops his head while shaking it side to side* So I called her mother's house and asked her 'Had she seen my baby'.  I roll my six around, lookin for that missin shinobi.  Got back in, turn the TV on and caught the news.  Then I put my hand on my head cuz I'm so confused.  And then I turned the TV down…cuz I thought I heard a squeaky sound. *looks in Tsunade's eyes* Somethins goin on upstairs, yeah.  Coz I _know_ nobody else lives here.  _Dun dun dun! _As I get closer to the stairway, all I hear….and then I hear my baby's voice, in my ear…screamin out.

~~~~~*****flashback to the scene*****~~~~~~~

Anko: *all over Kakashi* You're contagious, touch me baby, give me what you got…

Kakashi: *not tryin to stop her* Sexy lady, drive me crazy, drive me wild…

~~~~~~******back to reality*******~~~~~~~

Jiraiya:  *grabs his hair* I just can't believe this shit....

Tsunade: *stunned in complete silence* …

Jiraiya: I ran downstairs in the closet, lookin for that forbidden _jutsu_…I say a prayer coz only Gamabuunta knows what I'm gonna _do_…*burrows his eyebrows* What I saw, was enough to drive _Iruka_ wild.  I'm in the hall, contemplatin' 'not in _my _own damn house.'*tryin to desperately to hold in his rage* Who would of thought that she was creepin with another man? The _down low_ happenin to me all over again.  And then I turn the TV down…

Tsunade: *now taking notes* …TV down…yeaahhh, all the way down…

Jiraiya:  Coz I know I heard a squeaky sound…Somethin goin on up there, upstairs…coz I know nobody else lives here.  _Dun dun dun_!  As I get closer to the stairway, all I hear….and then I hear my baby's voice in my ear…_screamin_….

~~~~~*****flashback****~~~~~

Anko:  *bumpin and grindin all on Kakashi* You're contagious, touch me baby, give me what you got….

Kakashi: *kinky smile* sexy lady, drive me crazy, drive me wild…

            Jiraiya walks up the stairs to the doorway of the bedroom…_Dun dun dun!  _Jiraiya opens the door…_crrreeaaakkkk!_

Jiraiya:  *very close to having a conniption* What the hell is goin on, b'tween the sheets in my home…!?

Anko: *surprised* Jiraiya wait, lemme explain before you start to summon flames…

Jiraiya:  Girl, I'm bout to have a fit!

Kakashi: *pullin the sheets up, shakin his head* Oh, it's about to be some shit. How did I get into this?  Should've never came home wit dis bitch…

Jiraiya:  *pointing and glaring at Anko* go down dirty woman, back to where you came from…

Anko: but baby wait—

Jiraiya: 'but wait' my ass, hit the streets. You ass is grass!!

Kakashi:  *hands up in surrender* Now, Jiraiya Sama before you done...

Jiraiya:  *shocked* Wait! How you know my name, son!?

Anko:  Honey wait, I was gonna tell you—

Jiraiya:  Ooh, this cat looks real familiar…

/Anko in the background: No, no...No, no.../

Jiraiya:  *staring Kakashi down* Mmm, now don't I know from somewhere…a long time ago?

/no,no….no,no/

Kakashi: no, no…I don't think so…

/no,no….no,no…/

Jiraiya:  *rubbin his chin* Yeah, yeah.  I feel I know you brother, very well.

/no, no….no, no.../

Kakashi: *puts mask back on* No, no.  You're mistakin me for somebody else…

Anko: Jiraiya!—

Jiraiya: *whips around* Shut up! Can't you see two men are talkin!?

Anko: but—

Jiraiya:  Thought I, told your ass to get to walkin…Now I think yall better leave this place…*powers up all of his chakra*  Coz I'm about to catch a case…!

~~~~~*****end of flashback*****~~~~~

A/N: the song is over now…*poof*

Tsunade: *folding her hands on her lap* I see...

Jiraiya: *almost in tears* …

Tsunade: *massaging her temples* I told you about messing with those younger women…These days, everybody cheats, Jiraiya kun.

End

A/N

Chewbecky:  Yay!!!  Well what do you think?  Is funny, is it stupid, is it…just plain awful!?

Kakashi:  *poof* Yo, I got to be naughty! *blushes while giggling insanely like a school girl*

Chewbecky:  *sweatdrop* yeah and you nearly got killed by Jiraiya Sama….

Kakashi:  well…somebody /besides Anko/ must've liked it!  Please review ppl, and let me know how I was, being kinky and all…


End file.
